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Home / The Cryptic Kabaret Presents…

The Cryptic Kabaret Presents…

HATE. LOVE. FEAR. JOY. INNOCENCE.

All the fun of the fair…

HATE and the UNHOLY HEART
LOVE and other DARK DELUSIONS
FEAR and the BEAUTIFUL BEAST
JOY and the MYSTERY OF MADNESS
INNOCENCE and the SWEETNESS OF SIN

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UK orders only

For all overseas shipping please contact me before purchase.

Please get in touch if you are interested in purchasing any of my artwork which is not for sale in this shop.

mr.cronch

Our very first interview as AGITATE ART (otherwise

Our very first interview as AGITATE ART (otherwise known as the sweary artists Philip McCulloch-Downs and @helen.ara) in the prestigious magazine 'The Animals Voice'!

Founded in 1986, @animalsvoicemag is an independent online resource for helping animals and the people who defend them.
The stunning full front cover is an image titled 'Tower Of Babel 5', by our talented friend @rinoozora_art, which featured in our video gallery last year.

Inside is the story of AGITATE's whisky-fuelled origins, the lockdown tribulations of its creation, and some fabulous work from the wonderful artists we have been fortunate to showcase in our YouTube gallery.

The magazine is free to read and download online, and you can also purchase a published copy.

For more on 'The Animals Voice' see their website animalsvoice.com, and please think of supporting them, if you can, to enable them to keep this wonderful magazine free to read.

To see more of our videos, subscribe to our Youtube channel or visit @agitate.art
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#artactivism #antimeatindustry #anticapitalism #pigfarming #contemporaryart #artistsoninstagram #animalrights #animalliberation #animalart #artistsforaction #speciesism #endspeciesism #environment #climatechange #environmentalart #environmentart #climatechange #climatechangeart #factoryfarming #animalagriculture #veganart #veganartist #veganartivist #activistart #protestart #animalsvoicemagazine #animalrightsart #politicalart

'PET... FOOD' (acrylic paint on A4 canvas board) A

'PET... FOOD'
(acrylic paint on A4 canvas board)
A painting that was used on the first Art of Compassion Project calendar in 2015.
The original was gifted to the vegan/animal rights charity 'Towards a Compassionate Nation' and was sold at auction at a prestigious health conference in Beijing.
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#activist #pets #petstagram #vegansofig #animal #painting #instaart #animals #govegan #petsofinstagram #crueltyfree #instapet #savetheanimals #petsagram #veganism #creative #artoftheday #cats #adorable #savetheplanet #vegetarian #veganlife #bestofvegan #veganlifestyle #paint #illustrator #arts #bethechange #kittens #instaartist

'The Remembering' - an illustration from my novel

'The Remembering' - an illustration from my novel 'The Oddity'
(Ink on A4 card)
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#quirkyart #veganartist #blackandwhiteartwork #illustration #bookillustration #harmony #draw #instaart #penandink #animalartwork #creative #lineart #inkdrawing #pendrawing #artsy #vegan #inking #instaartist #linework #inkart #illustrator #artistic #natureartwork #animals #wildlife #linedrawing #blackandwhite #farmedanimals #storybookillustration #veganartworks

CONSUMER Inspired by the prints of Albrecht Durer,

CONSUMER
Inspired by the prints of Albrecht Durer, as well as mankind's grotesque greed.

Available as an A3 print. Contact phdsbl@hotmail.com
Also available as a t-shirt, vest and hoody from mrcronch.teemill.com
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#draw #sketchbook #instaart #vegan #creative #artoftheday #penandink #meatfree #illustrator #inkdrawing #instaartist #vegansofig #veganlife #crueltyfree #linedrawing #lineart #artistsoninstagram #instablackandwhite #artistic #ukartist #decorativeart #drawinganimals #fantasticalart #veganartist #animalart #skeleton #humanbodies #consumer #veganartivist #veganactivism

'NURTURE / NATURE' (acrylic paint on A4 canvas bo

'NURTURE / NATURE'
(acrylic paint on A4 canvas board, 2019)

We are all born with an innate empathy and compassion for humans and non-humans alike, a sense that we are all part of the natural world.

But then we grow up.

How quickly we forget who we once were.

Remember to nurture your nature.

(With many thanks to @rhiannonbuck and Master Alfred Purnell ☺)
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#cutekids #toddlerportraits #veganartist #vegankids #coolkid #acrylicpaintingoncanvas #fluffytoys #instaart #infant #toddler #beautifulportrait #naturenurture #creative #tiny #toddlerlife #artoftheday #acrylicpainting #portraits #instaartist #portraiture #portraitpage #children #young #son #toddlersofinstagram #kidsofinstagram #artistic #veganchildren #nurturenature

'Journey's End' (acrylic paint on A4 canvas board,

'Journey's End' (acrylic paint on A4 canvas board, 2019)

The hidden truth that lies at the heart of all animal agriculture.

From grass to straw to cold concrete,
From sentience to packaged meat,
From newborn breath to butcher's knife,
No freedom, choice, hope -
Or life.
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#fuckmeat #dairycowsofinstagram #journeysend #vegansofig #crueltyfree #govegan #dairyfree #veganism #cow #vegansofinstagram #animalrights #cattle #animalliberation #meatfree #veganuniverse #ukartist #activism #animalart #acrylicpainting #activist #creative #artoftheday #artofcompassionproject #instaartist #artistic #acryliconcanvas #farmanimals #compassion #earthlings #veganuk

Newly arrived! The first set of my recent springti

Newly arrived! The first set of my recent springtime flower paintings: 'New Beginnings', 'Skyflower' and 'Brighter Days'.
Signed, limited edition fine art giclee prints (A3 size) by @mockingbird_press
Available now. Contact me at phdsbl@hotmail.com
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#mockingbirdpressart #newbeginnings #daffodils #stainedglassart #daisyart #fineartprint #spring #springtime #nature #newgrowth #springflowers #daisies #decorativeart #gicleeprint #natureartist #natureartwork #acrylicpainting #artoftheday #artistic #instaartist #creative #painting #mothernature #stainedglasseffect #flowerart #beautifulart #veganartist #naturedesign #paintingnature

'MERRY-GO-ROUND' (acrylic paint on A4 canvas board

'MERRY-GO-ROUND' (acrylic paint on A4 canvas board)
Revisiting a recent artwork, but with an added twist of animated psychedelia....

Inspired by Mark Gertler's large scale canvas of the same name, painted in 1916 as the artist's visceral reaction to the madness of the First World War. My small-scale tribute to a man I much admire and empathise with, feels much the same in tone, if not in execution - a grotesque and gaudy view of our modern human society, caught in its endless whirl of fleeting, shrieking, wild-eyed excess.

Round and round and round and round and round....

Going nowhere fast.
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#art #crazyart #painting #contemporaryart #artwork #instaart #darkart #artistsoninstagram #surrealart #macabreart #fairgroundride #markgertler #carousel #weirdart #merrygoround #acrylicpainting #creative #instaartist #artistic #psychedelicart #colourfulart #bizarreart #beautifulbizarre #strangeart #darksurrealism #darkillustration #faces #portraiture #humans #grotesqueart

'The Crop' (acrylic on canvas board, 2019) A symb

'The Crop' (acrylic on canvas board, 2019)

A symbolic depiction of the hidden truth that lies at the heart of all animal agriculture.

Seeded.
Fed and watered.
Grown.
Harvested.
Killed.
Butchered.
Consumed.

The Crop.
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#animalportrait #govegan #cows #veganism #artivism #vegansofinstagram #cattle #animalrights #activist #activism #savetheanimals #bethechange #savetheplanet #arte #artistic #creative #artoftheday #acrylicpainting #acryliconcanvas #originalart #cowsofinstagram #compassion #earthlings #animalwelfare #vegancommunity #animalactivist #meatfree #farmanimals #countrylife #dairyfree

'Green and pleasant land' (Acrylic paint on canva

'Green and pleasant land'
(Acrylic paint on canvas board)
2019

A perfect pastoral scene.
Traditional.
Timeless.
Cows in the green fields beneath summer skies.
The sound of cattle lowing at dusk… ...mothers calling out for their babies.

Babies who are taken away hours after they are born, and shot or raised for veal (if they are male), or repeatedly impregnated and milked until they are spent, before being sent for slaughter after 7-8 years (if they are female).
Herds are generally kept indoors for at least half the year.
Lameness and mastitis are common.

Traditional? Timeless?
Or just industrialised cruelty?

It's time to change.
Help create a truly 'green and pleasant land'. Choose vegan.
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#englishcountryside #dairycowsofinstagram #greenandpleasantland #vegansofig #crueltyfree #govegan #dairyfree #veganism #cow #vegansofinstagram #animalrights #cattle #animalliberation #meatfree #veganuniverse #ukartist #activism #animalart #acrylicpainting #newartwork #creative #artoftheday #artofcompassionproject #instaartist #artistic #acryliconcanvas #farmanimals #compassion #earthlings #veganuk

Sent from Samsung tablet

This just happened! I found out that my painting '

This just happened! I found out that my painting 'New Beginnings' has just been selected for a cheeky prize by @mockingbird_press!
I'm dead chuffed with this.
Time for a Friday night beer to celebrate!
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#mockingbirdpressart #newbeginnings #daffodils #stainedglassart #daisyart #sopretty #spring #springtime #nature #newgrowth #springflowers #daisies #decorativeart #daffodilart #natureartist #natureartwork #acrylicpainting #artoftheday #artistic #instaartist #creative #painting #mothernature #stainedglasseffect #flowerart #beautifulart #veganartist #naturedesign #paintingnature

'Cold Blood' (acrylic paint on A4 canvas board) 20

'Cold Blood' (acrylic paint on A4 canvas board)
2018

I painted this for a very personal reason. My friends and family fully support my vegan lifestyle, many of them are even semi-vegan themselves, and yet, despite knowing the facts written below, they ALL ignore logic and ethics when it comes to eating fish.
Why?

The oceans are farmed on an unimaginable scale. 90% of all common fish have disappeared since the 1950s, whilst governments and the fishing industry continue to promote the myth of 'sustainable fishing'. If the current situation continues the world's oceans are predicted to be empty of marine life by 2050.

Killed on an industrial scale.
Killed by consumer apathy.
Killed in cold blood.
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#marinelife #oceanlife #fish #fishing #underwater #sealife #painting #govegan #crueltyfree #veganism #animalrights #vegansofinstagram #veganuniverse #veganartist #veganlife #instaart #instaartist #artistic #contemporaryart #seashepherd #savetheoceans #underwaterworld #acrylicpainting #acryliconcanvas #meatfree #animalliberation #animalcruelty #fishfeelpain #coldblood #underwaterart

'Misery' (acrylic paint in A4 canvas board) 2019

'Misery' (acrylic paint in A4 canvas board)
2019

Turkeys are intelligent, athletic, socially sophisticated birds.

On factory farms they are taken from their mothers and housed in large, windowless sheds with up to 10,000 other birds.

They are genetically manipulated and drugged. They have their beaks and toes mutilated without anaesthetic.

Finally they are electrocuted.

A 10 year lifespan reduced to 20 weeks.

THEIR MISERY - FOR YOUR PLEASURE.
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#animalrights #govegan #veganism #vegansofig #vegansofinstagram #animalcruelty #painting #animalabuse #acrylicpainting #veganfortheanimals #meatfree #earthlings #animalwelfare #artofcompassionproject #herbivore #animalactivist #speciesism #animalrightsart #animalrightsactivist activism #ukartist #creative #instaart #artistic #contemporaryart #artoftheday #animalart #poultry #turkey #factoryfarming #turkeyfarming

'SHINE' (acrylic paint on A3 canvas board) 'From m

'SHINE'
(acrylic paint on A3 canvas board)
'From midday to midnight,
Giving life to the light'
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#art #moonlight #sunshine #acrylicpainting #moon #creative #arte #sunlight #artsy #arts #instaartist #contemporaryart #artistic #acryliconcanvas #originalart #fantasyart #gorgeousart #beautifulart #beautifulartwork #stainedglass #stainedglassart #stainedglasswindow #bluesky #shine #sunshineart #moonart #sunart #beautifulwomen #beautifulbizarre #decorativeart

The Suffering (acrylic paint on A4 canvas board)

The Suffering
(acrylic paint on A4 canvas board)

'Think occasionally of the suffering of which you spare yourself the sight' (quote from humanitarian and philosopher Albert Schweitzer).

I waited many years until I felt I had the experience at painting to be able to tackle this picture with enough skill, to be able to portray these abused animals with enough dignity and accuracy to do them justice.
It's not an unusual image in our society, just another factory farm. And that's what makes it so unbearable - that this is just another acceptable obscenity.

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#animalrights #govegan #veganism #vegansofig #vegansofinstagram #animalcruelty #painting #animalabuse #acrylicpainting #veganfortheanimals #meatfree #earthlings #animalwelfare #artofcompassionproject #herbivore #animalactivist #speciesism #animalrightsart #animalrightsactivist activism #ukartist #creative #instaart #artistic #contemporaryart #artoftheday #animalart #poultry #chickens #factoryfarming #chickenfarming

'HOME SWEET HOME' (graphite pencil on A4 card) Di

'HOME SWEET HOME' (graphite pencil on A4 card)

Directly inspired by photographs from investigations into UK egg farms in 2016. Farms that are ORGANIC, FREE RANGE, BRITISH STANDARD.

This is the BEST the industry can do.

Their 'Home Sweet Home'.

If you think this is uncomfortable and unpleasant to look at, then just imagine what it's like to live there. Each face I drew is an individual; a life; a sentient being. Each one suffers.

A possible decade of life reduced to this 72 week life sentence so that commercial companies can sell you eggs.

But of course they never show you where they come from.
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#batteryhens #vegansofig #poultry #factoryfarm #veganillustrator #eggfree #drawing #animalrights #veganartist #instaart #govegan #crueltyfree #veganism #creative #artoftheday #sketchbook #artivism #cagedhens #artsy #instaartist #chickensofinstagram #vegansofinstagram #arte #paint #hens #veganlife #farmlife #pencildrawing #artistic #animalrightsactivist

'Now you see me' (acrylic paint on A4 canvas board

'Now you see me' (acrylic paint on A4 canvas board)

Inspired by photos from undercover investigations on UK 'enriched cage' Egg Farms in 2016.

The 'superior' form of battery farming.

Caged with 40 - 80 others.
My share of the cage is just larger than an A4 sized sheet of paper.
This barren and overcrowded environment causes social and physical stress, feather pecking and cannibalism.
My beak is trimmed causing acute and chronic pain.
The sloping wire mesh floor causes lesions on my sensitive feet.
In the wild I would lay 20 eggs per year and could live for a decade.
In the cage I will lay 300 eggs and will die after 72 weeks.
I will leave the cage only when I am taken to be killed.

ALL THIS IS HIDDEN FROM YOU.

Now you see me.
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#batteryhens #vegansofig #poultry #factoryfarm #veganillustrator #eggfree #painting #animalrights #veganartist #instaart #govegan #crueltyfree #veganism #creative #artoftheday #sketchbook #artivism #cagedhens #artsy #instaartist #chickensofinstagram #vegansofinstagram #arte #paint #hens #veganlife #farmlife #acrylicpainting #artistic #animalrightsactivist

'Gassed' (acrylic paint on A4 canvas board) Since

'Gassed' (acrylic paint on A4 canvas board)
Since it's Easter Weekend and images of spring flowers, chocolate eggs and newborn chicks are everywhere (courtesy of our deeply superficial and fact-free advertising industry) I thought I'd post a timely reminder of some rather more realistic facts about those cute, fluffy little birds we all love so much....

In commercial egg farms eggs develop inside industrialised incubators.
At around 21 days the chicks hatch in tiered racks of trays.
They are placed on conveyor belts to be sorted.
Male chicks are removed, and these ‘rejects’ are gassed to death.
Until recently they could also be thrown alive into electric mincers.
This method is still legal.
40 million day-old chicks are killed each year in UK hatcheries.

ALL COMMERCIAL EGG PRODUCERS DO THIS.
Free Range, Organic, Enriched Cage.
THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS.
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#activist #activism #animalrightsart #vegansofig #painting #eggfree #instaart #govegan #crueltyfree #savetheanimals #veganism #creative #artoftheday #acrylicpainting #animalrights #artsy #instaartist #vegansofinstagram #chicks #eggs #veganlife #dairyfree #veganlifestyle #artistic #contemporaryart #illustrator #fineart #arts #factoryfarming #chickens

'Spent: the true price of eggs' (acrylic paint on

'Spent: the true price of eggs' (acrylic paint on A4 canvas board)

Naturally intelligent, social, sensitive, with a distinct hierarchy, a communal approach to rearing their young, producing only 20 eggs per year, and with a lifespan of up to a decade.

Unnaturally confined, suffering acute pain, calcium deficient, sickly, suffering physical and social stress, forced to produce 300 egg in their 72 week lifespan, until they are exhausted, unprofitable...

And 'spent'.

Free range, organic, 'enriched cage' - The true price of eggs.

NB: originally created for Viva.org.uk in 2016, the video I made of this painting had over 33,000 views on their Facebook page (far in excess of most of their others) proving that something in it had truly hit a nerve.
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#activist #activism #eggfree #vegansofig #animalrights #animalrightsart #instaart #govegan #crueltyfree #savetheanimals #veganism #creative #artoftheday #acrylicpainting #hen #chickens #artsy #instaartist #vegansofinstagram #arte #paint #veganlife #bestofvegan #veganlifestyle #chickenfarming #artistic #contemporaryart #illustrator #fineart #factoryfarming

'Down on the farm' (acrylic paint on A4 canvas boa

'Down on the farm' (acrylic paint on A4 canvas board)
2016

Permanently caged in a barren environment; with trimmed beaks, brittle bones, foot lesions; with overcrowding causing social and physical stress as well as feather pecking and cannibalism...

These 'enriched cages' allow each bird a space just larger than one A4 size sheet of paper. Every minute of every hour of every day of every week, for 72 weeks, before being removed for slaughter.

Just another day down on the farm.

(Painted using photographs from undercover investigations into UK 'enriched cage' egg farms)

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#batteryhens #vegansofig #poultry #factoryfarm #veganillustrator #eggfree #painting #animalrights #veganartist #instaart #govegan #crueltyfree #veganism #acrylicpainting #artoftheday #sketchbook #artivism #cagedhens #artsy #instaartist #chickensofinstagram #vegansofinstagram #arte #paint #hens #veganlife #farmlife #acrylicpainting #artistic #animalrightsactivist

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Not all of the artwork on my website is available in my online shop, but please contact me if you are interested in purchasing a print (Standard, Fine Art or Canvas) of any particular piece.

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Please get in touch if you are interested in purchasing any of my artwork which is not for sale in this shop. UK orders only. For all overseas shipping please contact me before purchase. Dismiss